i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
