He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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