i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just gargled with NyQuil
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
