there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
