Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize