just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she told me i tasted like america
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
