Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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