her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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