Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
