i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize