My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
