What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Panties = found
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize