take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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