I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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