I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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