Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
