I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
