IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
