I love black thongs
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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