Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
