I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
