i think my tv is drunk
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
