just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
