apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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