Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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