i just wanna soil my oats bro
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
