Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
