ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
