I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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