My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
