My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize