Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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