did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
FUCK WHALES
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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