The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
