Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
