how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
