I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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