She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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