I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
