Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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