Plan B is the new Plan A
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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