i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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