we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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