I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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