Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
