This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
