Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
