I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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