im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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