So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
