it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
