Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you made out with another girl for some wings
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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