it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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