put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
