It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dicks are not precious.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
