Whod you bang
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
