So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Enjoy the penises
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
