i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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