So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
