I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
