Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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